Look, I know you being a big shot published character and all, you probably ain’t interested in interviewing us still-in-limbo folks but should you find yourself in need of a man with a great bod, a mind like a steel trap and a big gun, I’m available.

You can contact me through my author or, better yet, if you happen to be in the neighborhood of the Shirley Maclean Holistic Health Center, Progressive Office Complex and Greater Enlightenment Mall, look me up. I’m on the 14th floor, which is really the 10th floor but who’s counting. It’s the top, babe.

I’m on a case at the moment. Gotta find out who’s killing all the Guru’s, but I could squeeze a babe like you in. I could show you around my office, let you see my gun. It’d be fun.

Al

As a vocal book character yourself I was wondering if I could get your advice? See, I’m an abused character myself in a novel by R.P. and I’m not sure if I like the idea of R.P. trying to publish this novel.

Okay, okay, so everything turned out alright in the end, but the journey from the beginning – where he killed a friend of mine off-screen then had me dwelling on it for six hundred pages – to the end – where he finally allowed me to be back with my wife after spending six hundred plus pages of taking her away from me – hasn’t been easy.

I’ve been labelled a loose cannon, my wife is ready to leave me, he kills off my friends, makes me work with the worst sort of incompetance in the world, terrorizes me with some sort of phantom stern grandmother and also has me crucified by my own wife.

What should I do about this? What avenues do I have as a character to prevent this story from getting out and a number of people reading my humiliation and torture at the hands of this sadist? (and I’ve learned that he’s not been satisfied by what he’s done to me – his subsequently has turned another character into a demonic beast, destroyed his parentage, had him used as a sacrifice to a mad god and then completely tore his world apart and gave this character’s girlfriend to his brother. He also plans to unleash a terrible goddess on the world as well as something else very monstrous, not to mention jump forty years into the future to do something completely horrible there as well by creating a society of ‘meta’ humans!)

Jezebel, please help! We have to STOP this madman before he novelizes again!

Call me,

A Misused Character!

Camy

M