JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! It’s time once again for Cat and Muse. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel, coming at you live from the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. With me, as always, is the producer of Cat and Muse, the cliché-speaking, pop culture-referencing, incredibly tragic fashion victim…the Muse of Tragedy, Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
So I have to congratulate you, sweetie. I hear you’re three weeks now with no caffeine.

MEL:
CUTS LIKE A KNIFE.

JEZ:
I have to say, you’re taking to it really well.

MEL:
LIFE’S A [BLEEP], THEN YOU DIE.

JEZ:
Ah.

MEL:
NOTHING TO SEE HERE. MOVE ALONG.

JEZ:
Well, I guarantee that our next interview will cheer you up. With us today is a character I absolutely adore. I want to be her when I grow up. And I’m not the only one who loves her. “It’s about time women had an Amazon to look up to,” says The Tampa Tribune: “Bobbie Faye is a hurricane-force heroine who makes this novel the perfect adventure yarn.” The Times Picayune exclaims: “If you like Janet Evanovich, if you’re looking for a lot of unlikely action (when is the last time someone you know escaped a burning boat by lassoing an oil rig?), or if you’re simply having a bad day, go out and find Bobbie Faye. She’s an outrageous hoot.” Library Journal declared in a starred review: “This hyperpaced, screwball action/adventure with one unforgettable heroine and two sexy heroes is side-splittingly hilarious.”

MEL:
FUNNY GIRL.

JEZ:
And in a totally non-Streisand way. Avid Fans, give a hotter than hot welcome to the woman that Bookreporter.com calls “a titanium magnolia” and who Deadly Pleasures swears will “capture both the hearts of spunky women everywhere and the minds of men ready for a challenge.” I’m thrilled to introduce the star of Toni McGee Causey’s fabulous Southern caper comedy, Bobbie Faye’s Very (very, very, very) Bad Day. Say hello to… Bobbie Faye Sumrall!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, sweetie!

BOBBIE FAYE:
Hey, it’s great to be here. Actually, it’s great to be anywhere, actually alive, especially after that bad day.

JEZ:
A Cajun beauty queen gets washed out of her trailer home, accidentally robs a bank, takes a hostage who’s way too sexy for his own damn good, eludes the police through Louisiana swamps, steals a speedboat, and holds her own against rampaging bears and deadly snakes. All before lunch. And that’s not even including you trying to rescue your brother from kidnappers. My, my. So is it even possible to pick a worst part of your very—very, very, very—bad day?

BF:
I think nearly getting blown up would be right up there at the top. Or falling down that shaft. That was scary as hell.

JEZ:
Hell’s not so bad, once you get used to it.

BF:
Or maybe it was the catching on fire part.

JEZ:
Ditto.

BF:
I dunno. It’s a toss up.

JEZ:
Is there a best part?

BF:
You did pay attention to that kiss, right?

JEZ:
Sweetie, I took notes. So you’re saying the best part is…

BF:
Trevor. The biceps, the kiss, the being wet. Together.

JEZ:
That’s just begging me to make a comment about him getting you all soaking wet.

MEL:
GO SOAK YOUR HEAD.

JEZ:
Right, right, I’m keeping my mind on the interview. So tell me: how does one “accidentally” rob a bank?

BF:
Um… show up?

JEZ:
[SNORTS LAUGHTER]

BF:
Seriously, it’s not like I plan these things.

JEZ:
Of course you don’t. What sort of perks come from being the Contraband Days Queen? Do you get to boink all the pirates?

BF:
Ha. I wish. So far, I’ve been shot at, nearly mauled, caught on fire, chased by dogs, almost blown up… this is not exactly working for me here.

JEZ:
It’s not easy being queen. Has there been a place in Louisiana that you haven’t destroyed, broken, mauled, or, um, creatively rearranged?

BF:
Oh sure there’s the…. Oh. Wait. No. OH! Right, there’s the… um. Oops, nope.

JEZ:
[GIGGLES]Bless me, you’re like a demon’s favorite plaything…

BF:
Great. I’m never going to get insurance coverage again, am I?

JEZ:
Granted, you really redefine “accident prone.” Do you have a family curse placed on you? (If so, I could hook you up with this witch I know who could probably get rid of it…)

BF:
Dear God no. How in the world do you think this started?

JEZ:
No idea. You tell me: What have you done, in this life or a previous one, to deserve so much catastrophically bad luck?

BF:
I’m trying to repress it. Selective amnesia.

JEZ:
You used to kick kittens, didn’t you? Admit it.

BF:
Nah, really, I swear, I don’t know. But if I find out, I’m going back in time and beating the crap out of the earlier version of me.

JEZ:
Your brother redefines the phrase “good for nothing.” (Although I do have to admire his way with the ladies.) So why, exactly, haven’t you killed him?

BF:
He’s learned to hide really well when I’m pissed off at him.

JEZ:
Sounds like a smart lad. All things considered.

BF:
All that experience dealing with deranged women helped.

MEL:
TAKES ONE TO KNOW ONE.

BF:
Oh. Wait…

JEZ:
What’s truly frightening is that out of your siblings, you’re the responsible one. How the Hell did that happen?

BF:
Someone somewhere hates me.

MEL:
GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS.

JEZ:
Aw, everything for a reason. So they say. Let’s change the subject: Trevor. Yummmmm. Tell me true: you carjacked the truck with him in it on purpose, didn’t you?

BF:
Hey, biceps. Hunk. Ass. Abs. And did I mention the biceps?

JEZ:
Mmmmmm. Biceps.

BF:
I might be accident prone, but I am no dummy.

JEZ:
Who’s the scarier ex-boyfriend: the cop with a grudge, or the gun-runner with an attitude?

BF:
The gun-runner would like to kill me and the cop would like to lock me up forever. I’m kinda thinking it’s a tie.

JEZ:
What’s better: sex or chocolate?

BF:
Sex. No competition. If someone says chocolate, they’re definitely not having the right kind of sex.

JEZ:
Pop quiz: You’re in a Trevor and Cam sandwich. Who’s on top? Just as important: what do you use for a condiment?

BF:
Before or after they kill each other? Because those two guys are about as alpha as they get. I’m a little worried about them being in the same room.

JEZ:
Who’re better kissers, hostages or cops?

BF:
You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?

JEZ:
No, I don’t do that anymore.

MEL:
LIAR, LIAR, PANTS ON FIRE.

JEZ:
What? I don’t! Ignore the Muse; she’s been cranky since she gave up caffeine. So, in Bobbie Faye’s Very (Very, Very, Very) Bad Day, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Toni, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do?

BF:
Every. [BLEEP]ing. Day.

JEZ:
Were there any parts where you and your Dear Creator were actually in sync?

BF:
Only for the kissing of Trevor part.

JEZ:
Hey, that sounds nice…

BF:
Then there were bears and helicopters and cops and I didn’t get to the next part. I was pretty ticked off about not getting to the next part.

JEZ:
If you had your way, what would you change about Bobbie Faye’s Very (Very, Very, Very) Bad Day?

BF:
The NEXT PART.

JEZ:
Nookie, eh? And lots of it?

BF:
Geez, the abs.

JEZ:
For most of Bobbie Faye’s Very (Very, Very, Very) Bad Day, you wore a tight tee-shirt that said: SHUCK ME, SUCK ME, EAT ME RAW. (Oysters—you do fun things with them, and they’re an aphrodisiac.) Is this what you normally wear? If so, can you give me the name of the store where you shop?

BF:
The PINCH ME, PEEL ME, EAT ME (for shrimp) and the one you mentioned were just supposed to be gag gifts from my sister.

JEZ:
Hell of a sense of humor…

BF:
I’d rather wear something a little less likely to humiliate me on national TV. I haven’t managed to do that yet, but I’d like to.

JEZ:
Speaking of being on camera, if Bobbie Faye’s Very (Very, Very, Very) Bad Day went the way of Hollywood, would you insist on a body double for the s-e-x scenes?

BF:
Are you kidding?

JEZ:
Nope. I swear, there would be sex scenes. Swamp sex! Who wouldn’t want a movie with nasty ol’ swamp sex?

BF:
[SMILES]No body double, because I’d insist that Trevor couldn’t have a body double. I am going to get lucky, damnit, if it’s the last thing I do.

JEZ:
Describe your romantic fantasy. Don’t worry, it’s just us girls. You can be explicit. In fact, I insist.

BF:
Um, that Trevor / Cam sandwich thing, sans the killing, would be interesting.

JEZ:
Finally, if you could be Evil for one day—and, you know, not worry about the state of your immortal soul—what would you use your powers for?

BF:
World domination, particularly over a guy with these incredible biceps is suddenly appealing to me. A lot.

JEZ:
Sounds good—er, evil—to me! Once again, give a huge round of applause for the star of Toni McGee Causey’s fabulous novel, Bobbie Faye’s Very (Very, Very, Very) Bad Day, the inimitable Bobbie Faye Sumrall!

[APPLAUSE]

You can get copies of Bobbie Faye’s Very (Very, Very, Very) Bad Day at Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and at fine bookstores near you.

Until next time, this is the former demon Jezebel. Be sure to Hit the ROAD! And remember: love your inner demon.

Ta!