JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! It’s time once again for Cat and Muse, the only character-run Internet-based talk-radio show worth your time! I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel. With me today, as always, is the lovely, lamentable Muse of Tragedy…Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
Ooh, I love your Heroes tee shirt!

MEL:
SAVE THE CHEERLEADER, SAVE THE WORLD.

JEZ:
Mmm. That Masi Oka can save me, any time. Especially when he’s all bad-[BLEEP] from the future…yum!

MEL:
YATTA!

JEZ:
Of course, I also have a thing for Sylar. Can’t help it: bad boys turn me on. Our special guest tonight may know a thing or two about bad boys. She claims to be a “humble librarian,” but we all know that the good girls always fall for the bad boys…right? She’s the heroine of SORCERY AND THE SINGLE GIRL, which Booklist calls “a zesty blend of fantasy and romance.” And Romantic Times calls it “an irresistible tale of power and love, friendship and acceptance.”

Boys and girls, give a hotter than hot welcome to the star of Mindy Klasky’s fabulous Witchcraft series—the librarian-turned-witch…Jane Madison!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Jane!

JANE:
Hello! Thank you so much for having me here tonight.

JEZ:
Thrilled you could join us, sweetie.

JANE:
I have to say that I have a soft spot for Mohinder, myself. Must be his studious nature…

JEZ:
I can appreciate a man who does his research…

JANE:
He can wander into my library anytime!

JEZ:
So, you’re a humble librarian, who recently discovered she’s also a witch. My my. That must have been a Hell of an adjustment to make. What was the worst part of going from the Dewey Decimal System to the Book of Shadows System?

JANE:
Well, I planned on being a librarian—went to school for it and everything. The witchcraft stuff just sort of happened, when I least expected it. My employer couldn’t afford to pay my full salary… but that’s what Dewey will get you!

JEZ:
[SNORTS LAUGHTER]

JANE:
Anyway, they offered me free rent, living in a cottage on the library grounds. I found a secret stash of witchcraft paraphernalia in the basement, and the rest—as they say—is history. History recorded in GIRL’S GUIDE TO WITCHCRAFT, in fact.

JEZ:
Ah, I do so love the plugs for books! What about your newest book, SORCERY AND THE SINGLE GIRL? Anything devious in that one?

JANE:
I thought I had enough going on with all the people I knew, and then I discovered that I had a stalker—a stalker who knew enough to use magic against me.

JEZ:
Ooh, stalkers! Both fun and creepy! Anything else scary in the book?

JANE:
My employer is desperate to get more people in our library. Therefore, she requires me to wear eighteenth-century clothing—complete with hoops, lace bodice, mob-cap, etcetera—every day, as I work the coffee bar in the library.

JEZ:
Yikes. Speaking of fashion…um, when you’re not forced to wear styles from the 1700s, that is…what’s your outfit du jour?

JANE:
My wardrobe manages to fill up with black on black, on a regular basis.

JEZ:
Nice.

MEL:
BACK IN BLACK.

JANE:
My familiar, who does double-duty as my fashion consultant, insists that I add in a few items in green or blue, most often a silk blouse that somehow never survives the magic I end up working.

JEZ:
Yeah, magic sense and fashion sense don’t always work well together. That probably explains why this one witch I know very well tends to wear the most atrocious clothes…ah, that’s another story. Speaking of stories, for those new to the Witchcraft series, what’s SORCERY about?

JANE:
It’s the story of how I, a humble librarian, manage to expand my powers of witchcraft, lose my best friend, find my perfect guy, fight with my family, and continue my ongoing battles with my overprotective astral warder, all while trying to join the Coven of my dreams.

JEZ:
Whew!

JANE:
Things tend to spin a bit out of control in my life.

JEZ:
Yeah, I’m getting that vibe. With all that going on, what’s the best thing about your life?

JANE:
When a dream guy takes you out on dates to plays at the Kennedy Center, dinner at Bistro Francais, and he accepts that you’re a witch? Well, it doesn’t get much better than that!

JEZ:
On that note: You and Graeme. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

JANE:
Um, I’m not the sort of girl to kiss and tell.

JEZ:
Awwwww…

JANE:
Kiss and do a few other things—sure—but not tell….

JEZ:
Okay, fine, let’s take it down a notch. What’s your romantic fantasy? Don’t worry. It’s just us girls. You can be as graphic as you want. In fact, I insist.

JANE:
I haven’t had a whole lot of luck with this romantic fantasy stuff. I mean, I’m the one whose Imaginary Boyfriend ended up being a two-timing, double-crossing…

JEZ:
[TO MEL]Mel, take notes.

MEL:
[SCRIBBLES]

JANE:
Oh, wait. You want to know what my fantasy is now?

JEZ:
Sure!

JANE:
Well, let’s just say that a tall, blond Englishman taking me on a tour of the night monuments in Washington, D.C. is enough to stir my blood.

JEZ:
Vampire alert! Vampire alert!

JANE:
Of course, when I’ve slathered myself in bug-spray to keep that blood from being sucked dry by mosquitoes, things don’t necessarily turn out the way I plan….

JEZ:
Heh, probably not. Which is better: sex or chocolate?

JANE:
Chocolate first. Then sex!

JEZ:
So, in SORCERY AND THE SINGLE GIRL, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Mindy, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

JANE:
That Creator! She seems to think that I’ve got all the time in the world to juggle my family, my magic, and my career!

JEZ:
Dear Creators do tend to suck that way, don’t they? [STARES MEANINGFULLY AT COMPUTER]

JANE:
And if I could ever get her to understand that my warder isn’t some sort of noble astral enforcer—he’s actually a controlling, pig-headed, manipulative….

JEZ:
Yeah? Yeah?

JANE:
Well, you get the idea.

JEZ:
If you leave it to me to fill in the blanks, sweetie, my Dear Creator is going to bleep the [BLEEP] out of this broadcast. If you had your way, what would you change about SORCERY AND THE SINGLE GIRL?

JANE:
You know, the story is actually a pretty accurate account of what happened to me.

JEZ:
Oh, fess up. You could change anything. What do you change?

JANE:
I’d try to make myself a bit more glamorous.

JEZ:
Now we’re talking.

JANE:
I’d try to explain away those extra mojitos that my best friend and I consumed. And those extra desserts from the Cake Walk bakery. And the really lousy makeup color choices….

MEL:
THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAILS.

JANE:
But the story itself? I’m actually sort of taken with it.

JEZ:
Huh. What if you could make Mindy do anything—what would it be?

JANE:
Write some more books. About me.

JEZ:
Heh. Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

JANE:
I hate, hate, hate the roles that we’re expected to play in public.

JEZ:
You’re talking to a stripper. Could you be a little specific?

JANE:
As much as I think that I have every right to ask out a guy I meet, I still find myself tongue-tied, making an absolute fool out of myself with whatever I say and do. Especially whatever I do. I wish that we lived in a world where women were automatically expected to—and respected for—taking the lead in romance.

JEZ:
Oh, sweetie. After the show, you and I are hitting the town, and we’re going to discuss this whole notion of women taking the back seat when it comes to leading in romance…and I don’t mean THAT back seat, thank you very much! Tell me, if SORCERY AND THE SINGLE GIRL goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

JANE:
I’ve always thought that I should be played by someone “real”—someone who looks like a normal woman, not a Hollywood goddess. Toni Colette, maybe? Marcia Cross, ten years ago?

JEZ:
What about Graeme?

JANE:
He’s obviously meant to be played by Daniel Craig. And I’ll be needed on the set as a full-time consultant.

JEZ:
Let’s hear it for consultants! Finally, if you could be Evil for one day, how would you use your magic?

JANE:
I really don’t think that I’d settle into being truly Evil.

JEZ:
You never know…[COUGHS]…I mean, hypothetically speaking.

JANE:
I’d give my eyeteeth to make my warder think that I had turned, in ways that he couldn’t absolutely, completely control in that all-too-confident way of his.

JEZ:
Neat.

JANE:
That, and I’d make baked goods calorie-free. But that wouldn’t be Evil, would it?

JEZ:
Oh, sweetie, you have no idea how Evil that really is! All those chemicals…!

Avid Fans, give it up for the star of Mindy Klasky’s Witchcraft series…Jane Madison!

[APPLAUSE]

SORCERY AND THE SINGLE GIRL hits the shelves tomorrow, September 25, and you can buy it at Amazon, B&N, BAMM, and many other fine bookstores near you!

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Be sure to Hit the ROAD for a chance to win a gold bracelet or an Apple iPod Nano! And remember: love your inner demon!