JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome to Cat and Muse, the only Internet talk-radio show run by a one-time succubus. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel, here in the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. With me, as always, is the ever tragic, ever troubled Muse of Tragedy…Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
I like your Styx t-shirt. “Killroy Was Here,” huh? I’m more of an Equinox sort of gal.

MEL:
DOMO ARIGATO, MISTER ROBOTO.

JEZ:
Ooh, what a segue for the interview! Picture Lost in Translation, but in reverse. That will tell something about our next guest here on Cat and Muse. The Charleston Gazette calls MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT “witty and charming,” and Publishers Weekly declares the book a “delectably frothy debut.”

Sounds delicious, doesn’t it? Boys and girls, say hello to the star of Wendy Nelson Tokunaga’s debut novel, MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT…Midori Saito!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Midori!

MIDORI:
Konnichi wa. That means “hello” in Japanese.

JEZ:
So, a 30-year-old Japanese woman, fresh off the boat, so to speak, stranded in San Francisco, searching for her American dream.

MID:
And the perfect dessert.

JEZ:
Heh, can’t forget that! By the way, I love the apron and the chef’s hat!

MELPOMENE:
THE WAY TO A MAN’S HEART IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH.

JEZ:
Me, I tend to aim lower down. So, Midori, what brought you to the lovely U.S. of A. in the first place?

MID:
I followed my American fiancé, Kevin, from Japan to San Francisco.

JEZ:
Ah, true love.

MID:
But right at my engagement party, he dumped me for his ex-fiancée.

JEZ:
Dang.

MID:
Whom I didn’t even know about.

MEL:
LOVE STINKS.

JEZ:
Sweetie, I’m really sorry. That utterly sucks donkey balls.

MID:
So I was stuck in the U.S., with a visa that was about to expire, since I was relying on getting a green card through my marriage. If the authorities found out, I could have been deported and never be able to return to America again.

JEZ:
Ugh. Anything salvageable about the situation?

MID:
[SHRUGS] The best thing, really, is that Kevin dumped me.

JEZ:
Yeah?

MID:
It would have been a disaster to have been married to him.

JEZ:
Heh, yeah, I can see that. So, any new romantic opportunities for you?

MID:
[BLUSHES]

JEZ:
Ooh, that’s a yes! Spill!

MID:
I’m lucky if I can even get a kiss from Shinji.

JEZ:
Tell us more about Shinji.

MID:
[SIGHS] He is in love with an American girl named Tracy. And, like me, he has always preferred dating people outside his race.

JEZ:
Aw. Well, let’s say things work out with you and him. What’s your romantic fantasy?

MID:
To make love on the kitchen floor, covered with pastry flour.

JEZ:
Ooh, kinky! I can tell you’re a woman who appreciates the finer things in life, so tell me, which is better: sex or chocolate?

MID:
Probably the best is sex WITH chocolate.

JEZ:
Sounds good to me. So, in MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Wendy, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

MID:
Wendy, luckily, knows a lot about Japanese culture, and she knows me very well. In fact, she knows so much that it scares me.

JEZ:
Yeah, our Creators tend to make with the all-knowing thing, don’t they? It’s cheating, if you ask me.

MID:
I was pretty pleased with all the things she made me do, though I could have done without having to deal with Damian.

JEZ:
Ooh.

MEL:
IT’S ALL FOR YOU, DAMIAN!

JEZ:
Stop that, Muse. Midori, who’s Damian?

MID:
A freak who seems to be way too much into Japanese women, if you know what I mean.

JEZ:
I believe I do. If you had your way, what would you change about MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT?

MID:
Not one thing.

JEZ:
[BLINKS] Really?

MID:
I was so happy that Wendy could tell my story.

JEZ:
My my. Well, if you could make Wendy do anything, what would it be?

MID:
I wish she’d write a sequel about me, but I don’t think she plans to.

MEL:
HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL.

JEZ:
Absolutely. Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

MID:
I wish I could bring world peace by baking everyone delicious cupcakes.

JEZ:
Now that’s a plan for peace that I could totally get behind. If MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

MID:
Rinko Kikuchi from Babel.

JEZ:
Nice. What about Shinji?

MID:
Masi Oka from Heroes.

MEL:
YATTA!

JEZ:
I’m a Sylar fan, myself. Finally, if you could be evil for one day, and you were granted spiffy evil powers, what would the powers be and how would you use them?

MID:
I’d cast a spell on Kevin, and have his new bride-to-be walk out on him.

MEL:
WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND.

JEZ:
Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Avid Fans, give another round of applause to the star of Wendy Nelson Tokunaga’s debut novel, MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT, Midori Saito!

[No, this isn’t Midori. But it is her Dear Creator, Wendy Nelson Tokunaga.]

[APPLAUSE]

You can purchase MIDORI BY MOONLIGHT at Barnes & Noble, Amazon, BookSense bookstores, and other fine bookstores near you.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Until next time, remember: love your inner demon.