JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome once again to Cat and Muse, the only Internet talk-radio show run completely by and about fictional characters. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel, coming at you live from the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. With me, as always, is the producer of Cat and Muse—the cliché-speaking, pop-culture-referencing Muse of Tragedy…Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
Now, you have to understand that our next guest on Cat and Muse had to sign a waiver before agreeing to appear on the show, promising that she absolutely, positively would not point out to us exactly why we’re not a real talk-radio show. Or how our scripts aren’t formatted like real talk-radio scripts. Or, you know, try to steal our fans. But she’s a peach and signed the waiver, all without signing over her soul!

Publishers Weekly declares that “Vaughn’s universe is convincing and imaginative,” and Locus calls the Kitty Norville series “Fun, fast-paced adventure for fans of supernatural mysteries.” About KITTY AND THE MIDNIGHT HOUR, Romantic Times exclaimed: “Debut author Vaughn’s clever new take on the supernatural is edgy and irreverent.”

Avid Fans, give a standing-O for the star of Carrie Vaughn’s bestselling Kitty Norville series…Kitty Norville!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Kitty!

KITTY:
Hey there.

JEZ:
So. A werewolf named Kitty hosts a talk-radio advice show for the supernaturally disadvantaged.

KITTY:
You know, like if you ever need to complain about how your vampire boyfriend is a pain in the neck.

JEZ:
Groan.

KITTY:
And dude, a werewolf named Kitty. Seriously, who thinks up this stuff?

JEZ:
Heh. That would be your Dear Creator.

KITTY:
It’s a great name, don’t get me wrong. But when people find out I’m a werewolf, they’re like, “No, really. Seriously? Get out!” They think it’s a stage name. But do they really think I would do that to myself?

JEZ:
Hey, some people are gluttons for punishment. And S&M. But I digress. Other than your name, what’s the worst thing that happens to you in SILVER BULLET?

KITTY:
I face a true “damned if I do, damned if I don’t” situation.

JEZ:
Ooh, sounds like my sort of thing! ’Spain, please!

KITTY:
Waiting for me in Denver is the werewolf pack that exiled me, and the alpha werewolf who vowed to kill me if I ever returned. But my mother, who lives in Denver, is very sick. Of course I have to see her. But I’d rather not get killed by a super-violent and emotionally insecure werewolf while I’m at it.

MEL:
ROCK AND A HARD PLACE.

JEZ:
For real. Sucks to be you, eh?

KITTY:
In a sentence, I really, really hate it when people are trying to kill me. It seems to happen way too often.

JEZ:
Aw. Poor sweetie. Anything good happen to you?

KITTY:
I have more good people looking out for me than want to kill me.

JEZ:
Heh. Always a plus.

KITTY:
My human family, my wolf family, my lawyer turned boyfriend Ben. Boyfriend turned fiancé—see the ring?

JEZ:
Ooh—sparkly!

KITTY:
Squee!

MEL:
LIKE A DIAMOND IN THE SKY.

KITTY:
I’ve even managed to make friends with the master vampires of Denver and Washington D.C., and a really badass hit man. Being a werewolf is a tough gig, but friends make it easier.

JEZ:
See, you’re saying that it’s tough to be a Furry American. But sweetie, I have to say, I would have thought that you’d be more about the leather and less about the jeans and tee-shirt.

KITTY:
Maybe you can relate to this, but one of the perks of working on radio is not having to dress up all the time.

JEZ:
Well, yeah. But I’m also a stripper. When I get dressed up, it all comes off anyway.

KITTY:
[GRINS] I tend not to go for fancy duds and nice shoes, because I never know when I’m going to have run for my life, or rip it all off in order to shape shift.

JEZ:
[WINKS] Or strip.

KITTY:
[LAUGHS] I have been known to don a classic little black dress on occasion. I clean up pretty good.

JEZ:
What wouldn’t you be caught dead in?

KITTY:
Latex pants and a bustier cinched so tight my cleavage is in my face. Spiked heels straight out of a Frederick’s of Hollywood catalog. Because seriously, nothing says respect like that kind of outfit.

JEZ:
[SMILES] You’d be amazed how much you can rack up in tips when wearing that kind of outfit.

KITTY:
I just don’t get the appeal, I’m afraid.

JEZ:
That’s okay. Switching gears: you and Ben. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

KITTY:
You’re wanting me to kiss and tell?

JEZ:
Uh huh.

KITTY:
Do you know how dangerous that is when you’re dating a lawyer?

JEZ:
[GRINS] Uh huh.

KITTY:
One thing I’ll say: I’m totally sick and tired of all the “doggy style” jokes.

JEZ:
[GIGGLES]

KITTY:
This is the sort of question that reminds me why I prefer to be the one asking the questions. I’m usually sitting on your side of the mike, you know.

JEZ:
I know. Nice dodge, by the way. Which is better: sex or chocolate?

KITTY:
Depends on the sex. Depends on the chocolate. I’ve had samples of both I could do without. But tell me, why does it have to be “or”?

JEZ:
It doesn’t. Believe me, it doesn’t. So, in KITTY AND THE SILVER BULLET, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Carrie, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

KITTY:
I really did wonder if Carrie was just going to wipe us all out and have done with it. I mean, it was touch and go there for a while. But we all knew that couldn’t happen because the next book was already cooking.

JEZ:
Job security rocks!

KITTY:
But more specifically, Carrie made me shoot a gun. She made me learn to shoot! Can you believe it?

JEZ:
I take it this is a big deal?

KITTY:
I’m a werewolf. I’m supposed to be badass all on my own. Okay, so maybe I don’t quite manage it all the time. I’d still prefer to avoid the guns in the future. [COUGHS] Hint! [COUGHS]

JEZ:
If you had your way, what would you change about SILVER BULLET?

KITTY:
I’d like to have a lower body count.

JEZ:
Awww…

KITTY:
This is the fourth book, and I think the body count has gone up every single time. I shudder to think of what the future holds.

MEL:
HE DIES, SHE DIES, EVERYBODY DIES.

JEZ:
Heh, it’s my Locknar. Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

KITTY:
Can’t we all just get along?

JEZ:
If we did, Hell would go out of business.

KITTY:
No, seriously. If there were more niceness the world would be a better place. Less ego, more kindness.

JEZ:
I don’t know. Sounds sort of dull, doesn’t it?

MEL:
KILL ME WITH KINDNESS.

JEZ:
[BRIGHTENS] Oh, right! Sure, bring on the kindness! If your series went Hollywood, who should play you in the movies?

KITTY:
Renee Zellweger, ten years ago. She’d be perfect. But I don’t suppose I can have that, can I? Imagination is a wonderful thing…

JEZ:
Well, they can do amazing things with makeup. And deals signed in blood. Last question: If you could be evil for one day, and you were granted spiffy evil powers, what would the powers be and how would you use them?

KITTY:
I would only use my evil powers for good.

JEZ:
Seriously now.

KITTY:
Seriously. You know how I can tell? Because I do. I’m a werewolf who uses my highly rated radio show to convince people to be nice to each other. How odd is that? Sometimes I think it would be less work to be a rampaging maniac.

JEZ:
[LAUGHS] Depends if you had to clean up after yourself or not.

Boys and girls, give another hotter than hot round of applause for the star of Carrie Vaughn’s bestselling Kitty Norville series…Kitty!

[APPLAUSE]

[No, this isn't Kitty. But it is her Dear Creator, Carrie Vaughn, in an extreme close-up.]

The Kitty Norville books are:

KITTY AND THE MIDNIGHT HOUR
KITTY GOES TO WASHINGTON
KITTY TAKES A HOLIDAY
KITTY AND THE SILVER BULLET

And you can preorder KITTY AND THE DEAD MAN’S HAND, which is due to come out in February 2009, and KITTY RAISES HELL, which is due to ship in March.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Until next time, remember: love your inner demon.