JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome once again to Cat and Muse, the only Internet talk-radio show (that we know of) that’s run completely by and about fictional characters. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel, coming at you live from the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. With me, as always, is the lovely, lamentable Muse of Tragedy, forced to speak in clichés and pop culture references…the Muse of Tragedy, Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
Our next guest would be the first to tell you that nothing is what it seems. Darque Reviews proclaims, “Levitt weaves a suspenseful tale that’s supported by strong characters and a delightful infusion of magic and mystery.” In a four-star review, Romantic Times says: “the second book in Levitt’s Man and His Dog series is just as clever and twisty as the first. Mason’s offbeat sense of humor and knack for finding trouble make him a likable, if somewhat cursed, hero. Lou, on the other hand, is pure delight! This crime-fighting duo has plenty of bark and bite!”

Boys and girls, give a standing O to the star of John Levitt’s NEW TRICKS…Mason!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Mason!

MASON:
Hello, girls.

JEZ:
My my. Don’t you look scrumptious! Have to say, I’ve always loved a man in black jeans, a tee shirt and a leather jacket. Yum!

MASON:
[SMILES] That’s my usual outfit–I wouldn’t be caught dead in a suit. Don’t own one. Never have, never will. One of the reasons I don’t go to funerals.

JEZ:
Bless me, I want to just scoop you up and lick you like an ice-cream cone. [CLEARS THROAT] So you live in California.

MASON:
Yes, San Francisco.

MEL:
I LEFT MY HEART IN SAN FRANCISCO.

JEZ:
I’ve always loved California. Great earthquakes there. You’re a jazz musician, right? I love music. What would you say is jazz’s role in today’s music world?

MASON:
[LAUGHS] You don’t want to go there, believe me. I can talk about playing jazz and music in general, until your eyes glaze over and your ears begin to bleed, rendering your ability to enjoy music forever diminished.

JEZ:
[CHUCKLES] Okay, I won’t ask you about music. Onto the book! [READS CUE CARDS] NEW TRICKS is a lighthearted magical romp in which things aren’t always what they seem, bad stuff happens to good people, and good people actually die. [GRINS] Sweet! What’s the worst thing about your situation in NEW TRICKS?

MASON:
[TICS OFF POINTS] I don’t know what’s going on. I don’t know who the bad guy is. I don’t know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. I don’t know who to trust. Except for Lou, of course.

JEZ:
Lou.

MASON:
[NODS] But he’s only a dog. Sort of.

JEZ:
[BLINKS] Sort of.

MASON:
In some ways. And I pretty much get it all wrong, too, until the end.

JEZ:
Heh. What’s the best thing about your situation in NEW TRICKS?

MASON:
I’m a jazz musician with a rent-controlled flat in San Francisco and a parking space for my van.

JEZ:
Sweetie! Impressive!

MASON:
[GRINS] It doesn’t get any better than that.

JEZ:
Obviously, you’ve either slept with the right people or sold your soul. I find both courses of action equally attractive. And I can’t help but notice you didn’t say anything about having a woman to rub you down after a hard night’s performance…

MEL:
STOP THE MUSIC.

JEZ:
What? I’m just saying…

MEL:
GOT A JOB TO DO.

JEZ:
[MUTTERS] I swear, Muse, you used to have a sense of humor. [LOUDER] Mason, what’s one ridiculous thing about your situation in NEW TRICKS?

MASON:
That having magical talent, which sounds so cool, actually makes life more difficult, not easier.

JEZ:
Yeah, that’s sure tough. [GLANCES AT CUE CARDS] Okay, spill. You and Josephine. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

MASON:
Sorry, a gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.

JEZ:
Who said anything about you being a gentleman? You don’t even wear suits.

MASON:
[GRINS] If you want to know about how I feel about sex, here’s a little something: “For many, the mingling of sexuality and pain is the ultimate turn on, the mingling of blood and sex the ultimate proof of overwhelming passion. Unfortunately, I’m not one of them.”

JEZ:
Aw, sweetie. That’s okay. I don’t necessarily like it rough. I like it slow. I like it loving. I like it filled with kisses. I like it…

MEL:
I KNOW WHAT BOYS LIKE.

JEZ:
[PURRS] What’s your romantic fantasy, Mason?

MASON:
I’m not sure you’d appreciate the answer.

JEZ:
Try me. Please.

MASON:
I’d love to. And may I say you’re looking particularly lovely tonight?

JEZ:
Heh. Thank you. Well then, if you won’t get into the personal stuff, tell me, what’s better: sex or chocolate?

MASON:
Sex. Hey, I’m a guy, what do you expect?

JEZ:
Hee. Oh, I think I’d make you blush if I told you that.

MASON:
You can go out and buy chocolate any time you want. Well, maybe that’s not the best analogy, come to think of it now.

JEZ:
[CHUCKLES] Especially when talking to a former succubus who’s currently a stripper. So, in NEW TRICKS, were there any parts of the story where you were like, John, dude, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

MASON:
We’re pretty much in sync.

JEZ:
Not surprising, given that you’re a musician who knows how to keep a beat.

MASON:
I often do stupid things when I really do know better. But then again, so does he.

JEZ:
You’re only human. If you had your way, what would you change about NEW TRICKS?

MASON:
Nothing.

JEZ:
[BLINKS] Seriously now.

MASON:
You can’t change just one thing. It is what it is. Making a change is like unraveling a ball of yarn or eating one chip–there’s no stopping at just one.

JEZ:
Heh, you are close to your author, aren’t you? Well then, if you could make John do anything, what would it be?

MASON:
He could give me a break once in a while.

JEZ:
Yeah, good luck with that. Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

MASON:
I’d outlaw car stereos where the bass rattles house windows as the car drives by at three a.m.

JEZ:
See, me, I’d just kill off the people who play music that loud at three in the morning. [SMILES SWEETLY] That’s the former demon in me. If NEW TRICKS goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

MASON:
Johnny Depp.

JEZ:
[FANS SELF] Nice choice. What about your former mentor, Eli?

MASON:
James Earl Jones.

JEZ:
He gives great voice. Finally, if you could be evil for one day, and you were granted spiffy evil powers, what would the powers be and how would you use them?

MASON:
The powers I have could easily be used for evil. As could those of others like me. That’s the problem.

JEZ:
See, where you see a problem, I see a solution…

MASON:
If I were evil, I’d be fairly petty about it—mostly small acts of revenge against people who piss me off. [PAUSES] Of course, if I were evil, that would cover just about everybody.

JEZ:
Hah!

Avid Fans, give another hotter than hot round of applause to the star of John Levitt’s latest book, NEW TRICKS…Mason!

[APPLAUSE]

[No, this isn't Mason. But it is his Dear Creator, John Levitt.]

You can get DOG DAYS and NEW TRICKS at Barnes and Noble, Borders, Flights of Fantasy, Mysterious Galaxy, other independent booksellers, Amazon, and other bookstores near you.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Until next time, love your inner demon.