JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! It’s time once again for Cat and Muse, coming at you live from the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel. With me, as always, is the very wicked, and very wretched, cliché-speaking and pop-culture referencing Muse of Tragedy. Boys and girls, say hello to the producer of Cat and Muse…Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
Our next guest gives the phrase “fish out of water” a whole new meaning. Bestselling author Rachel Caine calls TEMPEST RISING “A fascinating, fast-paced, sexy storm of a book.” And RT Magazine, in a four-and-a-half star review, declares: “A new star is rising in the urban fantasy world. With her Jane True character, Peeler launches a first-person series that’s an exciting journey of self-discovery and murder mystery. The supporting characters are intriguing in their own right. A notable debut.”

Avid fans, give a huge round of applause to the star of Nicole Peeler’s debut novel, TEMPEST RISING…Jane True!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Jane!

JANE:
[WAVES HELLO]

JEZ:
Got to say, I love your high-tops. Converse?

JANE:
[NODS] I’ve learned the hard way that high heels and I don’t mix. I suppose it makes sense, as I’m not exactly grace incarnate. The seal blood, and all that. But really? I am a nightmare on heels.

JEZ:
Right, seal blood. [GLANCES AT NOTES] That would be the selkie part of you. That has to make for all sorts of fun situations, I’d think…

JANE:
Sexy hijinks in salt water occur at LEAST once. [GRINS] Who hasn’t dreamed of sexy salt-water hijinks?

JEZ:
Hah! So what’s the worst thing that happens to you: getting brine in your bikini area?

JANE:
[SIGHS] You just have to read the book: it’s like a bloopers reel for a normal urban fantasy.

JEZ:
Come on. Is it really that bad?

JANE:
[NODS]

JEZ:
So what’s the worst thing that happens?

JANE:
Pretty much everything. [PAUSES] Except for the sex and the travel and the food. [PAUSES AGAIN] And the new clothes.

JEZ:
[SNORTS] See, you’re just messing with us.

JANE:
No, seriously, I was pretty settled into my life. I thought I knew who I was and what I wanted then BAM . . . all this stuff hits. I’m still dealing, to be honest.

MEL:
THE TIMES, THEY ARE A-CHANGIN’.

JEZ:
Sounds it. With all the lousy things that happen — which I just have to say, you’re being purposefully vague about…

JANE:
[SMILES INNOCENTLY] You just have to read the book.

JEZ:
Uh-huh. As I was saying, with all the allegedly lousy things that happen in the book that I have yet to read, what’s the best thing that happens?

JANE:
Definitely the sex and the food. Not necessarily in that order.

JEZ:
Now we’re talking! Details!

JANE:
First off: the sex. Have you seen Ryu?

JEZ:
[FLIPS THROUGH NOTES] Hot thang, right?

JANE:
RIDICULOUSLY hot. And he’s such a Casanova. Which makes me giggle, most of the time, but there’s something to be said for dating a Casanova.

JEZ:
[GRINS] So say it.

JANE:
That boy can SWANG.

JEZ:
[BURSTS OUT LAUGHING]

JANE:
I mean, woooooah Nelly. I’m always all, “You’re gonna put your what, where?” And he’s all, “Roll with it, baby,” And I’m all, “I’m not really sure . . . HOLY MOTHER OF GOD DO THAT AGAIN.” He’s amazing. He also feeds me really good food, sometimes during sex. Heavenly!

JEZ:
You had me up until the “Heavenly.” So you and Ryu. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

JANE:
Dear lord, Ryu. Where to start? First of all, I don’t know who’s on top yet, because we haven’t done the same position twice. He’s like a walking, biting Kama Sutra.

JEZ:
[FANS SELF] Oh bless me, I’m getting quite the visual…

JANE:
It’s a little intimidating, to be honest. But awesome. Really, really awesome.

JEZ:
I bet! With all that delicious nooky, what’s your romantic fantasy? [SMILES] Don’t worry. It’s just us girls. You can be as graphic as you want. In fact, I insist.

JANE:
After having dated Ryu for a bit, my idea of a romantic evening has changed completely. Because Ryu is all about the Huge Romantic Gesture. I’ve actually had to have a talk with him.

JEZ:
[BLINKS] ‘Splain, please.

JANE:
I live in Rockabill, Maine. I can’t have helicopters arriving in the middle of the night to whisk me off to Montreal. I don’t need designer clothes or diamonds. I don’t really like diamonds and the shoes, as I’ve said, kill me. I just want to wear my Converse.

MEL:
DIAMONDS ARE A GIRL’S BEST FRIEND.

JEZ:
Seriously. If you’re over-burdened with diamonds, you can always give them to us.

JANE:
[LAUGHS] My new Ultimate Romantic Night would be a night in, watching movies and cuddling on the couch. I know that sounds weird, but . . . I’ve learned there really can be too much of a good thing.

JEZ:
But not enough of a great thing. [WINKS] Which is better: sex or chocolate?

JANE:
Ummm . . . I’m not really all that good at the tough choices. I’ll take sex WITH chocolate, thanks.

JEZ:
Heh. Duly noted. So, in TEMPEST RISING, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Nicole, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

JANE:
[ROLLS EYES] Nicole kept being all, “Jane, um, I don’t know if we can say that . . . It’s not very ladylike.” Or she’d worry that I wasn’t ballsy enough, that I wasn’t a “real” UF heroine. But I argued her down. I mean, this is my story, and I’m me.

JEZ:
Specifically, you’re part selkie.

JANE:
I wish I’d had some ninja mother who taught me to sharpen throwing stars with my teeth. Instead, my mom taught me how to hold my breath underwater, how to fight the currents, how to skin an eel . . . wait, I’m definitely not supposed to talk about the eels. Sorry.

JEZ:
Er. Right. No worries. If you had your way, what would you change about TEMPEST RISING?

JANE:
Like I said, I fought pretty hard to keep the tone of the book honest. So there’s not a lot about the book I would change. It’s me . . . warts and all.

JEZ:
Well then, if you could make Nicole do anything, what would it be?

JANE:
[RUBS HANDS GLEEFULLY] I’d make her wear the heels. She was such a bitch about it . . . like she’s graceful. She moves like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein.

JEZ:
[SNORTS LAUGHTER]

JANE:
Sings like him, too.

JEZ:
Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

JANE:
I wish we could all traipse. I know I’m obsessed with the heels thing, but, like, I watch these super models going pedal to the metal down runways, and I fall over just looking at a pair of stiletto heels. It’s so unfair!

JEZ:
Frankly, I blame our Dear Creators for that. [GLARES AT COMPUTER SCREEN] Hey Kessler, you ever try wearing five-inch stripper heels AND dancing on a waxed stage?

JACKIE:
[OFF SCREEN] Don’t have to. That’s why I keep you around.

JEZ:
See, Jane? All Creators are evil. Take it from a former demon. If TEMPEST RISING goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

JANE:
I would definitely be played by Emma Stone, from Zombieland. Dye her hair and put some black contacts on her and she’s perfect. Okay, fine, you’d also have to fatten her up a bit. I’m part seal! Give me a break!

JEZ:
Sweetie, you’re not even chubby. Last question: If you could be evil for one day, and you were granted spiffy evil powers, what would the powers be and how would you use them?

JANE:
I would be able to neutralize calories, and using these evil powers I would eat all the stinky cheese in the world. The world would be bereft of stinky cheese, but I would be happy.

JEZ:
Cheesetastic!

Avid Fans, once again give a round of applause to the star of Nicole Peeler’s debut novel TEMPEST RISING…Jane True!

[APPLAUSE]

[No, this isn’t Jane True. But it is her Dear Creator, Nicole Peeler.]

TEMPEST RISING, which just hit the shelves, is available at Amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, Flights of Fantasy and other independent bookstores, and other fine bookstores near you.

Until next time, remember: love your inner demon.