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Cat and Muse


Got Fangs?

JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! It’s time once again for Cat and Muse, coming at you live from the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel.

Well, it’s 2010. And you know what that means. That’s right: Melpomene’s vacation time has kicked in. She’s off on a leave of absence, doing some soul searching — which, by the way, means something entirely different to a former demon — so she won’t be with us for a while. We miss you, Mel!

Our next guest has some thoughts about one-night stands…and most of those thoughts involve words that will get bleeped out. In a 4.5 star review, RT says: “Phoebe, who narrates her tale in the first person, is funny but able to kick butt when it counts, like all Bardsley heroines, so the action and humor are bountiful.” And Bitten By Books offers “kudos and copious amounts of chocolate to Ms. Bardsley for another completely satisfying” read.

Kudos AND chocolate? You know that’s got my attention. Avid fans, give a hotter than hell round of applause to the star of Michele Bardsley’s sixth Broken Heart novel, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER…Phoebe Allen!

Come Hell

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Phoebe!

PHOEBE:
Hey there! Nice to be interviewed by the famous Jez.

JEZ:
Heh. Flattery gets you everywhere. So tell us about what’s happening in COME HELL OR HIGH WATER. Love the title, by the way.

PHOEBE:
I’m a vampire with demon powers who gets tricked into marrying a half-demon Scottish hottie.

JEZ:
So much there to love!

PHOEBE:
Doesn’t sound bad, right? Only…I sorta enjoy having a freaking choice about getting hitched. Call me traditional.

JEZ:
Pfft. Tradition is highly overrated, especially when you’ve been around long enough to see a billion traditions first created. What’s the worst thing about your situation?

PHOEBE:
Um, hello? Did you hear the answer to the first question? I got tricked into marriage.

JEZ:
[BLINKS] Your point being…?

PHOEBE:
Okay, okay. In the heat of passion…hot, naked Scotsman would blur any woman’s common sense, right?

JEZ:
Is this a trick question?

PHOEBE:
[SIGHS] In the heat of passion, I believed Connor Ballard’s lie.

JEZ:
‘Splain, please.

PHOEBE:
Vampires get 100-year-old “I Do” sentences if they do the mattress mambo with anyone.

JEZ:
Holy [BLEEP]. That’s…wow, I need a new word to describe how awful that is. Is there anything redeeming about your situation?

PHOEBE:
Um. Well. There is … you know, hot naked Scotsman.

JEZ:
Whew. Okay, so that sort of balances out. What’s a vampire with demonic powers wear these days? Anything you wouldn’t be caught dead in?

PHOEBE:
Considering I AM dead … I’m pretty much caught in everything. I don’t do leather, because wow, really? That’s so ’80s.

JEZ:
[CHUCKLES] True. Sounds like getting hitched just for a night between the sheets is the most ridiculous thing that happens to you, right?

PHOEBE:
Um … Connor has a demon-eating Chihuahua.

JEZ:
Say what now huh?

PHOEBE:
Seriously. That dog eats freaking bad-ass, sulfur-sucking Pit dwellers. How crazy is that?

JEZ:
Um. Yeah. Crazy. [SCOOTS BACKWARD] You saw the “No Pets Allowed” sign on the studio door, right? Ahem. Okay, spill. You and Connor. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

PHOEBE:
[GRINS] All positions welcome. And tried. More than once.

JEZ:
Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! What’s your romantic fantasy? Don’t worry. It’s just us girls. You can be as graphic as you want. In fact, I insist.

PHOEBE:
Someone who cooks, cleans, rubs my feet, allows me maintain full control of the remote, supplies me with truffles, runs the perfect bubble bath, massages me, and rocks my world every night. [PAUSES] It’s just a small fantasy.

JEZ:

Heh. Which is better: sex or chocolate?

PHOEBE:
Chocolate with sex. Why choose either when you can have both?

JEZ:
You never know. So, in COME HELL OR HIGH WATER, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Michele, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

PHOEBE:
Um … she married to me a demon. Threw me into a cage match with a bitch named Lilith, tossed me into the Pit I don’t know how many freaking times … so, yeah, you could say I had some issues.

JEZ:
Aw, poor sweetie. If you had your way, what would you change about COME HELL OR HIGH WATER?

PHOEBE:
Um … the hell part.

JEZ:
You know, speaking from experience, Hell sort of grows on you. If you could make Michele do anything, what would it be?

PHOEBE:

Day trip to hell. See how she likes it.

JEZ:
Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

PHOEBE:
Chocolate should be calorie-free, damn it.

JEZ:
I so hear you. If COME HELL OR HIGH WATER goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

PHOEBE:
Megan Fox. She kicks ass.

JEZ:
She does indeed. Finally, if you could be evil for one day, and you were granted spiffy evil powers, what would the powers be and how would you use them?

PHOEBE:

The ability to turn things into chocolate.

JEZ:
Is that evil?

PHOEBE:
Only if I don’t share. [LAUGHS EVILLY]

JEZ:

Love it!

Avid fans, give another round of applause to the star of Michele Bardsley’s sixth Broken Heart novel, COME HELL OR HIGH WATER…Phoebe Allen!

[APPLAUSE]

MB

[No, this isn’t Phoebe Allen hiding behind a mega-huge book cover. But it is her Dear Creator, Michele Bardsley.]

The Broken Heart series includes:

I’M THE VAMPIRE, THAT’S WHY
DON’T TALK BACK TO YOUR VAMPIRE
BECAUSE YOUR VAMPIRE SAID SO
WAIT TILL YOUR VAMPIRE GETS HOME
OVER MY DEAD BODY
COME HELL OR HIGH WATER

You can get the series at Barnes & Noble, Borders, Mysterious Galaxy and other independent bookstores, Amazon, and other fine bookstores near you.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Until next time, remember: love your inner demon.

8 Responses to “Got Fangs?”

  1. […] A new Cat and Muse interview, with Michele Bardsley’s Phoebe […]

    by Jackie Kessler - Insert Witty Title Here on January 5th, 2010 at 8:49 am

  2. Hahaha. love it.
    And i must find this book…

    by shion on January 5th, 2010 at 10:23 am

  3. Great interview!! Heading to the bookstore in a few to purchase Come Hell or High Water. Yay!

    by Qwill on January 5th, 2010 at 10:29 am

  4. Michele Rocks! 😀

    Lori C
    “Official Jackie Kessler stalker and Michele’s personal chocolate top cookie supplier” (and I take my jobs very seriously 😆 )

    by Lori C on January 5th, 2010 at 1:54 pm

  5. Have all Michele’s books, fighting my daughter over Come Hell or High Water to read it first………I think she won! Keep ’em comin’ Michele!

    by Lynda on January 5th, 2010 at 5:19 pm

  6. Great interview, Michelle. I see I’ll have to make a trip to the local bookstore in the near future.

    by Liz Kreger on January 5th, 2010 at 6:21 pm

  7. Your awesome babe LOVE the book.

    by rayna on January 5th, 2010 at 10:28 pm

  8. Phoebe says hello and she loved Jez’s shoes.

    The flu knocked me around and flattened me … but I’m feeling better.

    Thanks for the interview. Love being at Jax’s cyber house.

    by Michele Bardsley on January 6th, 2010 at 12:01 am

Current Guest's Author

Michelle Rowen

Michelle's website






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  • About

    So, A Demon Walks Into A Radio Studio

    The thing is, Jezebel is an active sort of former demon. She hates staying still for too long. And she loves people. (Just no longer in the “to death” sort of way.) So when she met Melpomene at the Voodoo Café one evening, it was probably inevitable that Jezzie would decide to be an Internet talk-radio host in her spare time.

    Now Cat and Muse has a dedicated audience (so Jezebel claims, loudly), and Jezzie has interviewed darlings of the print world, including MaryJanice Davidson’s Betsy Taylor, Rachel Caine’s Joanne Baldwin, and T.A. Pratt’s Marla Manson.

    Jezzie loves playing radio host. Mel laments being the producer. And Jackie? She just works here.




    The Staff

    Jezebel



    Jezebel is a former succubus. Quick with a joke, and to light up your smoke, there’s no place that she’d rather be than behind the microphone and interviewing other fictional characters. Okay, so maybe she’d rather be boinking the New York Giants. But that was a previous life (she swears), and she’s fully dedicated to being the best Internet talk-radio host she can be. (At least, until something else catches her eye.)

    Melpomene



    Melpomene, the Muse of Tragedy, has nothing better to do than lament her fate—all but forgotten, the Muse has a tendency to sigh and fret and use her power to wreak havoc. At least, she used to do all that, before she got whammied but good and now is stuck speaking in clichés and pop-culture references, sans magic power. At least now that Mel is the producer of Cat and Muse, she gets airtime while she mopes.

    Jackie



    Jackie insists that she runs the joint. She’s just a slave monkey who does Jezebel’s bidding, but don’t tell her that.




    Contact

    Contacting Cat and Muse

    We love hearing from our fans! Email Jackie at with the subject “CAT AND MUSE” and rave about how much you adore Jezebel and feel for Melpomene. And let her know which characters you’d like to see on Cat and Muse. Who knows? Maybe we can oblige.

    If you’re an author and you’d like to set up an interview for your characters, email Jackie at with the subject “INTERVIEW ME.” Jackie would be happy to explain the process.

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