[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZEBEL:
Our next guest on Cat and Muse is someone I’ve been wanting to talk to for a long, long time. She and I aren’t sisters — we come from completely different canons, for one thing; for another, she’s totally prissy — but we do share a Dear Creator. And that makes us family. Of course, considering who my father is, I’m betting that beneath her cool exterior, she’s got serious issues. [GRINS] Ah, family.

“Not since Good Omens by Gaiman and Pratchett has a co-authored novel come across as seamless as Black and White does,” says Preternatural Reviews. “Jet and Iridium’s multifaceted relationship will appeal to all who have come to want more from their superheroes than good vs. evil and mindless battles,” declares Publishers Weekly. And from The Book Smugglers: “What could one possibly add to the superheroes’ lore that hasn’t already been done in comics?…Could Black and White offer something fresh to the genre? In one word: yes.”

Avid Fans, boys and girls, superhero fans of all ages…give a standing ovation to one of the two stars of the first book in The Icarus Project…BLACK AND WHITE by Jackie Kessler and Caitlin Kittredge…Jet!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Jet!

JET:
Hello, citizen.

JEZ:
I have to say, it’s so weird having you here. Sort of like looking at my evil twin sister. Except I already have one.

JET:
Yes, I’ve heard a lot about you, as well. [SLIDES BACK IN HER SEAT] That’s an…interesting frock you’re wearing.

JEZ:
What, this old thing? [GRINS] Thanks. I’ve got a shift at Spice after this, so I thought I should dress for work ahead of time. You’re not allergic to latex, are you?

JET:
No.

JEZ:
Besides, my costume has nothing on yours! Loving the curve-hugging black leather! Those goggles are delish! And that cape? To die for.

JET:
Er. Thanks. It’s not leather, really. This is a custom-designed skinsuit, with a Kevlar weave, made for protection and flexibility. The optiframes shield my eyes and allow me to see in the dark.

JEZ:
And the cape?

JET:
[SMILES] I just like it.

MEL:
DRESSED TO KILL.

JET:
What? No, of course not! I would never kill anyone. I’m a hero, not some rabid with no sense of ethics or decency. I –

JEZ:
Relax, sweetie. Mel was just clicheing you on your outfit.

JET:
[SMILES THINLY] Ah. Thank you, citizen.

JEZ:
Okay then, since you’re so uptight, let’s get the hard part out of the way. [GLANCES AT NOTES] So in BLACK AND WHITE, you and your former best friend, Iridium, are now on opposite sides of the law. You’re the do-gooder, obviously. So she’s, what, the evil genius?

JET:
Sadly, yes. It’s a shame. She would have been a terrific hero.

JEZ:
When did you two part ways?

JET:
Fifth year at the Academy.

JEZ:
[ARCHES BROW] Academy?

JET:
Its the Corp-sponsored school where all extrahumans–those of us who have superpowers–go to be trained on how to be a hero. Everything from battle strategy to advanced street fighting to power control to branding. We learn it all.

JEZ:
Sounds phenomenally boring.

JET:
It’s required learning. Enjoyment doesn’t come into play.

JEZ:
Yeah, whatever. [SCANS NOTES] So BLACK AND WHITE has a lot happening in it. Death. Doom. Destruction. Betrayal. Misunderstanding. A big bad evil looking to do big bad things. [GRINS] All that great stuff. What’s the worst thing that happens to you?

JET:
When–in my past, or now? The novel covers both my time at the Academy and me now, as the Hero of New Chicago.

MEL:
CAN’T WE HAVE BOTH?

JEZ:
Ooh. Nice Trading Places quote, Mel!

JET:
Actually…the answer is one and the same. Losing Iri as a friend hurt me more than anything. When you’re a hero, loss is part of your daily life. You lose other soldiers. [SOFTLY] You lose loves. It happens when you put your life on the line again and again. You know you’re going to lose people, even the ones you love, to the fight. But your friends, the ones who know you better than anyone? Those should be with you, always. They shouldn’t turn their back on everything you believe in. [PAUSES] I keep hoping that one day, Iri will return to Corp and the Squadron, and be the hero I know she can be.

JEZ:
Think it’s likely?

JET:
[SMILES] I’m a romance reader. I always hope for happy endings.

JEZ:
Heh. Sweet. So what’s the best thing that happens to you in the book?

JET:
Sam.

JEZ:
[GRINS] Ooh. Details!

JET:
Samson is my first true love. We were at the Academy together.

JEZ:
And??? Come on, details!

JET:
It is not your concern.

JEZ:
Sweetie, when it comes to love and lust, it’s always my concern.

JET:
This interview is over.

JEZ:
Whoa! Sit down, sit down. Okay, I won’t ask you any burning questions about Sam. [SMILES SLYLY] Any other men we should know about?

JET:
Well. Um. There’s Bruce. My Runner — a personal assistant, if you will.

JEZ:
And does he assist you, say, with full-body massages?

JET:
[BLUSHES HUGELY]

JEZ:
Hah! So who’s on top? You or Bruce?

JET:
[FLUSTERED] I don’t see how that’s any of your business…

JEZ:
Or maybe there are other preferred positions?

JET:
[MUTTERS] Ops, if you hear me, I am going to hurt you for setting up this interview.

OPS:
Get the stick out of your ass and try to have a good time, Jetster. Lighten up.

JET:
I’ll hurt you a lot. In many creative ways.

JEZ:
Okay, okay. I’ll dial it down a notch. What’s your romantic fantasy?

JET:
Well. Um. It’s not glamorous or anything. But it would be nice to just take off the costume and be just Joan Greene, and be with someone who loves me for who I am, not for what I do.

JEZ:
Aw. I think someone needs a hug.

JET:
Touch me, and I’ll break your arm.

JEZ:
Heh. Alrighty then. I’m pretty sure I already know the answer to this one. What’s better: sex or chocolate?

JET:
Chocolate, of course. I’m only allowed to have that once a month. Sex I can have any time I’m off duty.

JEZ:
Unholy Hell…limiting your chocolate? That’s just [BLEEP].

JET:
Corp-mandated food programs. They have our health in their best interest.

JEZ:
Uh…right. So, in BLACK AND WHITE, were there any times…huh. Hang on a second. BLACK AND WHITE is written by Jackie Kessler and Caitlin Kittredge, right?

JET:
Right.

JEZ:
So who wrote about you?

JET:
Well, Jackie wrote the chapters that are in my point of view. But I appear in many of Caitlin’s chapters. I suppose Jackie has creative control when it comes to me, just like Caitlin does of Iridium.

JEZ:
Ah. So were there any points in BLACK AND WHITE when you were like, Jackie, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Dear Creator in sync the whole time?

JET:
I’m a good Squadron soldier. I have a job to do, and I do it to the best of my ability. I never question my duty. And duty comes first. Always.

JEZ:
So…you wouldn’t change anything that happens to you in BLACK AND WHITE?

JET:
Light, of course I would! Iri and I would still be best friends. Things would have been different for me and Sam. My father wouldn’t have been insane. My mother would still be alive. And I’d have a power that didn’t threaten to engulf me, body and soul. [PAUSES] Not that I’m complaining. I don’t complain.

JEZ:
Of course not. [SLIDES OVER A BOX OF CHOCOLATE] Here. On the house.

JET:
Thanks.

JEZ:
If you could make Jackie do anything, what would it be?

JET:
She’d be exercising every day, twice a day. And she’d follow a sensible eating plan. Having two full-time jobs is no excuse for physical laziness.

JEZ:
Heh. See, you’re much nicer than I am. I’d make her deal with all the [BLEEP] that I have to go through, see how she handles it.

JET:
Why would I wish that upon her? She doesn’t have any powers. She’d probably get killed if she had to fight rabids and criminals.

JEZ:
Your point?

JET:
My. You are quite the former demon, aren’t you?

JEZ:
Hey, it’s in my nature. If you could change anything in the real world, what would it be?

JET:
There would be no crime or lawlessness.

JEZ:
[PERKS UP] So you’re saying you’d do away with free will?

JET:
What? No, of course not.

JEZ:
But if you take away a person’s choice on whether or not to commit an act of evil, you’re taking away their free will.

JET:
[SPLUTTERS] I am doing no such thing. Stop twisting around my words.

JEZ:
[SMILES] Sounds like I already know what your evil power would be…

JET:
Now listen…

JEZ:
Ahem. If BLACK AND WHITE went the way of Hollywood, who would play you? What about Iri?

JET:
What, those old 2-D flatties? If you’re going to pick such an old technology, I suppose it would have to be someone from the past. For me, Hayden Panettiere or perhaps Christina Ricci, but blonde. For Iridium? Mary Louise Parker. But taller. And more athletic. And with the classic Snow White coloring. And, obviously, evil.

JEZ:
Heh. Obviously. So seriously now. If you were evil, what would you do with your shadow powers?

JET:
Many people think my powers already are evil. And after the way they warped my father, I think they may be right. [SMILES] If I ever go crazy, I’ll be sure to look you up and give you an answer.

JEZ:
How…charming.

Boys and girls, give another huge round of applause to one of the two stars of Jackie Kessler and Caitlin Kittredge‘s BLACK AND WHITE…Jet!

[APPLAUSE]

[No, this isn't Jet. But it is her Dear Creator, with newly highlighted hair -- Jackie Kessler!]

You can buy BLACK AND WHITE at Barnes and Noble, Borders, Flights of Fantasy, Mysterious Galaxy and other independent booksellers, Chapters, Amazon, and other fine bookstores near you.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Stay tuned for our next interview, which will be with Iridium! Until then, remember: love your inner demon. And, um, do-gooder. Bye!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
I’ve been waiting to get my hands on our next guest for a very, very long time. Says Romantic Times in a 4.5-star review: “Proving she has talent to spare, Kittredge launches an eerie new series, Black London, set on the streets of London. Atmospheric and filled with a gritty realism, this tale mixes kidnappings with hard-edged magic. The novel crackles with conflict and perilous magic. For those who love their urban fantasy hypnotically treacherous, this book’s for you!”

Hypnotically treacherous? Oh, you know I’m all over that. Just like I’d love to pour my body all over one of the stars of Caitlin Kittredge’s new novel, STREET MAGIC…Jack Winter!

[APPLAUSE]

Mmm, mmm, mmm. Heya, sweetie.

JACK:
Hello, luv.

JEZ:
[GLANCES AT NOTES] So, in STREET MAGIC, a hungry ghost is unleashed upon London, and it falls to you and Detective Inspector Pete Caldecott to put it back where it belongs.

JACK:
I have to point out that Pete is a lady, lest she appear and slap me again.

JEZ:
I have nothing against a little slap and tickle.

MEL:
FOCUS POWER.

JEZ:
Oh, I’m focusing, all right. Unholy Hell, Jack, you know how to work that tee shirt. What’s a sexy mage keep in his closet these days?

JACK:
[LAUGHS] Luv, look at me—does it honestly look as if I give a [BLEEP] what I go out of the house wearing?

JEZ:
The less, the better. [FANS SELF]

JACK:
But since you asked, it behooves a mage to have a good pair of boots and a good leather jacket. [WINKS] Demons bite, you know.

JEZ:
We do much more than that, sweetie.

MEL:
KISS AND TELL.

JEZ:
Don’t mind the Muse. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. So, STREET MAGIC begins with you summoning a demon. Speaking as a (former) demon, why the Hell would you go about trying to summon a demon? Do you have a secret death wish? Or were you trying to impress the ladies?

JACK:
Honestly, demons are the same as anything else—if you summon them properly, they can’t hurt you.

JEZ:
Bless me, you are just adorable.

JACK:
I guess it’s my bad luck I cocked up the “properly” part. And we’re always trying to impress you, ladies. [SMILES] Always.

JEZ:
Mmm. You are so sticking around after the show. What’s the worst thing about your situation in STREET MAGIC?

JACK:
You’re a bloody sadist, aren’t you?

JEZ:
For you, sweetie? I could be.

JACK:
All right, try this: I have uncontrolled psychic visions, a ghost wants to eat me, the love of me life thinks I’m a tosser and I spend the entire story out of cigarettes.

JEZ:
Out of cigarettes? My, my. Your Dear Creator must hate you. Anything salvageable about your situation in the book? Or is it all right up with having a pack of cigarettes and no lighter?

JACK:
Well, Pete does wear a number of fetching and sexy outfits.

JEZ:
[DRYLY] How nice.

JACK:
Also, I’m able to punch a lot of people in the face, magically and not.

JEZ:
[GRINS] A man who knows what to do with his hands. Mmmm. So we’ve gone from worst to best. What’s one ridiculous thing about your situation?

JACK:
[LAUGHS] I suppose the fact that I’m still alive—I mean, if there’s a bloke less interested in self-preservation, I’d like to meet him.

JEZ:
Really?

JACK:
Really. I’ve been given ghost sickness, attacked by demons, overdosed on heroin and eaten more dodgy curry than any one man has a right to, and I’m still here. That’s ridiculous, all right.

JEZ:
Can’t argue the curry. [SCANS NOTES] You shoot up as a way to control your magic, right? If magic is so horrid, why not just walk away from it?

JACK:
That’s like asking me to walk away from my skin…magic’s in me blood and there’s not a bloody thing I can do about it.

JEZ:
Hmm. Have you tried Kama Sutra instead of heroin to keep the magic under control?

JACK:
[GRINS] Depends, luv. Are you offering?

JEZ:
[SLIDES CLOSER TO JACK] Oh, sweetie, you have no idea what I’m offering…

MEL:
ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY.

JEZ:
Let’s say you and I get sweaty. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

JACK:
Lady’s choice, darling—I’m flexible. No pun intended.

JEZ:
Oh, the things I’m going to do to you, Jack Winter…What’s your romantic fantasy?

JACK:
[SNORTS] I think you may have mistaken me for one of those sensitive hippie gits with beards. Romance is somewhere on my list after becoming a Catholic priest.

JEZ:
[GRINS] If I didn’t have a contract binding me to finish interviews before having fun, you’d be on the floor already. Or on the desk. Or against the wall…Wait a second. You’re in love with Pete, right? So…why haven’t you gotten sweaty with her?

JACK:
It’s not for lack of trying, luv. Believe me. But she’s a feisty woman and she’ll lay me a smack if I get fresh. [PAUSES] Or for any reason, really.

JEZ:
Ah. So you like it rough. Good to know. Which is better: sex or chocolate?

JACK:
Both together, of course.

JEZ:
Of course. [MAKES YUMMY SOUND] Okay, back to business, before I get fired. So, in STREET MAGIC, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Caitlin, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

JACK:
Oh, she’s a lovely girl. Really tip-top at storytelling. ‘Course, that means I spend the entire novel in one sort of peril or another. Also, frequently wet and handcuffed to somebody’s bed.

JEZ:
[FANS SELF] Wet with a t-shirt? Naked? No, don’t tell me. I’ll just close my eyes and imagine…

JACK:
[LAUGHS] Don’t let the sweet face fool you—she’s a ruddy sadist when it comes to us characters.

JEZ:
Yeah, that seems to be a theme when it comes to Creators. [GLARES AT COMPUTER SCREEN] If you had your way, what would you change about STREET MAGIC?

JACK:
I would greatly enjoy not almost dying. Several times. It’s not nearly as fun as it sounds.

JEZ:
Been there. Done that. Completely agree with you. If you could make Caitlin do anything, what would it be?

JACK:
She always listens to me eventually. We’re both stubborn sorts, but I’m far more charming. I usually win.

JEZ:
Nice that you have your Creator under your thumb. You’ll have to teach me that trick. And I’ll teach you a few in return…Tell me one thing in the real world that you wish you could change.

JACK:
People being [BLEEP] bastards to one another, obviously. [PAUSES] Unless they deserve it.

JEZ:
Heh. What about in the publishing world?

JACK:
Sorry, luv. I’m a mage, not a writer. But if you have any publishers you’d like me to curse, I’ll do the job for free.

JEZ:
Hah! If STREET MAGIC goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

JACK:
Well, I’m rather partial to that David Tennant bloke from Doctor Who as me, even if he is a bloody Scotsman.

JEZ:
Nice. What about Pete?

JACK:
I can’t answer for Pete—but they should have a nice shapely rear bumper like she does, of course. Don’t tell her I said that.

MEL:
OUR LIPS ARE SEALED.

JEZ:
Finally, if you could be evil for one day, and you were granted spiffy evil powers, what would the powers be and how would you use them?

JACK:
I can’t tell you. But I could show you. [GRINS]

JEZ:
…

I think I just had an orgasm.

Avid Fans, give a standing ovation to one of the stars of Catilin Kittredge’s new series, Black London…Jack Winter!

[APPLAUSE]

[No, this isn't the delectable Jack Winter. But it is his very talented Dear Creator, Caitlin Kittredge]

You can buy STREET MAGIC at Barnes and Noble, Borders, Flights of Fantasy, Mysterious Galaxy and other independent bookstores, Amazon and other bookstores near you.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Until next time, remember: love you inner demon. (And if you’re Jack Winter, be sure to do it multiple times a day.)

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
Hey, can you take the buds out of your ears? You can listen to your iPod after the show. What song snagged your attention, anyway? [GRABS IPOD]

MEL:
“THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKIN’.”

JEZ:
Ooh, Man 2 Man! And I see you’ve got “Male Stripper” queued up next. I take it you heard about that American Idol finalist previously being a male stripper?

MEL:
[GRINS] IT’S RAINING MEN.

JEZ:
Hallelujah! Enjoy tonight’s show.

MEL:
THE SHOW MUST GO ON.

JEZ:
Indeed!

Our next guest on Cat and Muse pulled an Athena from the mind of author whose work appeared in the New York Times bestselling My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon. And she’s kicking [BLEEP] and taking names. A four-star review of NIGHT LIFE from Romantic Times says: “Life and crime through the eyes of a detective running on grit and nerve give Kittredge’s new urban fantasy thriller a dark and cutting edge.” And Fresh Fiction declares: “This new fantasy series starts off with a bang—briskly-paced, highly sexual and very clever.”

So boys and girls, let’s have a hot, hot, hot welcome for the star of Caitlin Kittredge’s debut novel NIGHT LIFE, the first book in the Nocturne City series…Luna Wilder!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Luna!

LUNA:
What’s up, Jez?

JEZ:
Demonic possession, slaughtered prostitutes, dark magic, alpha werewolves, and pissy police captains with something to prove. My, my. You sure know how to live the interesting life! What do you do for downtime—wrestle alligators?

LUNA:
Um, that’s a resounding no. Honestly, I value my private time more than anything.

JEZ:
So voyeurism is right out, I take it?

LUNA:
I like watching TV and painting my toes and shopping for vintage clothes on eBay…you know, trying to inject a tiny bit of normalcy into my crazy life.

MEL:
CRAZY LIKE A FOX.

JEZ:
More like a wolf. You’re a detective who’s secretly a werewolf. Which part of your life is more deadly?

LUNA:
Well, no were has ever held a gun to my head and threatened to kill me.

MEL:
NEVER SAY NEVER.

JEZ:
Yeah, what she said. You’re seriously saying that humans are more deadly than werewolves?

LUNA:
Well, weres are generally more cranky than humans.

JEZ:
Hmm. Well, which is more of a rush—being a babe with a badge, or being a wench who’s a wolf?

LUNA:
Definitely the cop half.

JEZ:
[SNORTS] Aw, come on.

LUNA:
[SHRUGS] Weres don’t get to drive cars or carry service weapons. And my taste buds when I’m shifted simply can’t appreciate the flavor of a doughnut.

JEZ:
[BLINKS] You’re [BLEEP] with me, aren’t you?

LUNA:
[GRINS] You knew there was going to be a doughnut joke in there somewhere.

JEZ:
In NIGHT LIFE, you have to deal with human scum as well as otherworldly evil. Which grates on you more?

LUNA:
The humans. They smell way worse, especially with my heightened senses.

JEZ:
So it must be Hell on you to be a cop: having to smell all those stale pastries, the bitter coffee…is the smell the worst part of being a cop?

LUNA:
[SHAKES HEAD]

JEZ:
What is it, then? Pulling a Linda Blair during an autopsy? Being called out for having boobs and therefore being all emotional?

LUNA:
The part that gets to me isn’t either of those things, although they both sort of suck.

JEZ:
I’d say.

LUNA:
It’s seeing the worst of people day, in and day out. Sometimes, it gets really hard to remember that there are good people in the world.

JEZ:
Ah, good is boring. What’s the best part of having a monster beneath your skin?

LUNA:
There’s TONS that’s good. I’m stronger than normal, I heal fast, I have super-strong sensory receptors.

JEZ:
[NODS] Standard supernatural perks.

LUNA:
Also, if a date gets grabby, I can flash him my fangs. That ends the night real quick.

JEZ:
Heh. Me, I like it when dates get grabby. And I still show them my fangs. Which did you like better: breaking that [BLEEP] cop’s finger in a fit a rage, or hearing him shriek like a girly girl?

LUNA:
[GIGGLES] Well, I do like to make men squirm…

JEZ:
Isn’t it fun? Okay, let’s talk about family. Your cousin Sunny: a touchy-feely spirit who dresses like a fairy princess, or a no-holds-barred Hermione-wannabe witch?

LUNA:
Sunny would like you to THINK she’s some harmless hippie chick, but damn, that girl is meaner than I am when you get on the bad side of her. And she commands her freaky Force powers.

MEL:
USE THE FORCE, LUKE.

LUNA:
So yeah, I try to stay on her good side.

JEZ:
Let’s talk wolves. You’re Insoli, which is Latin for “The Lonely,” give or take. What’s it like, being a werewolf without a pack to run with?

LUNA:
It sucks, dude. If I wander into another pack’s territory, their leader could forcibly dominate and bite me, assuming my will isn’t strong enough.

JEZ:
You know, I’m dying to make an inappropriate B&D joke here, but you’d probably shoot me, wouldn’t you?

LUNA:
[STROKES HER GUN BELT] No one knows where I stand in the pecking order of a pack, so they’re all like, “Grr!”

JEZ:
[ARCHES EYEBROW]

LUNA:
No, really. Were men communicate by growling even more than normal men do…

JEZ:
[SNICKERS]

LUNA:
Anyway, it’s a big hassle. But at the same time, women who are in packs are little better than slaves, unless they have a man protecting them.

JEZ:
Not your thing, I take it?

LUNA:
So not me.

JEZ:
During your moonphase—when you go all wolfy—Sunny locks you in a kennel. Does that mean you’re her bitch?

LUNA:
Hah. She wishes. The kennel is to keep me away from her, not vice versa.

JEZ:
NIGHT LIFE has different types of witches. ’Splain, please.

LUNA:
Okay, there are two types of witches: caster witches and blood witches. Caster witches use secondary mediums like wood and iron to focus their magic, while blood witches use their blood.

JEZ:
Now there’s a shock.

LUNA:
[GRINS] I know. Blood witches are nasty sorts, and they tend to be into things like summoning rituals and black magick, but I’ve met some casters who were just nasty bitches. Casters can pull down more power at once, so don’t piss one off, even if they seem nice.

JEZ:
Duly noted. Do the boy witches get all defensive about their roles, like boy nurses?

LUNA:
I’ve never met a boy witch who wasn’t an emo freak, so I can’t speak to that one.

MEL:
THIS IS THE SONG, LA LA LA LA, ELMO’S SONG.

JEZ:
Er, that was emo, not Elmo.

MEL:
[BLUSHES] TO ERR IS HUMAN; TO FORGIVE, DIVINE.

JEZ:
Yeah, that’s me: the divine Ms. J. Hah. Luna, does magic leave a nasty taste in your mouth, or what?

LUNA:
Magic makes my skin crawl…I stay as far away from it as I can. I think it’s an instinctual thing. You have to be born with witch blood and I wasn’t, so it freaks me out a little.

JEZ:
Yeah, I hear you. Never trust a witch.

MEL:
NEVER SAY NEVER.

JEZ:
Mel, you already used that cliché.

MEL:
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.

JEZ:
And so does a Muse without enough sleep. Luna, is your human hair coarser now that you’re a were? How many disposable razors do you go through when you shave your pits? Or are you more European about the whole thing?

LUNA:
Gee, Jez, no one’s ever asked me that question before. [LAUGHS]

JEZ:
Hey, a host’s got a quota, don’tcha know…

LUNA:
The hirsute factor is minimal, unless I’m close to phasing…so no, nothing weird growing in weird places, no need for galloons of Nair. I more have to watch out for my eyes turning yellow or my teeth fanging out. Way more awkward than hairy legs, let me tell you.

JEZ:
Dmitri Sandovsky. Grrrrrowl! Describe him in five words.

LUNA:
Pain-in-my-ass werewolf.

JEZ:
Heh. Describe sex with him in five words.

LUNA:
Sweetie, I’d need a lot more than five.

JEZ:
Good for you!

LUNA:
Suffice to say that advanced stamina that weres get isn’t just for hunting.

JEZ:
[GRINS] What about Lieutenant Troy MacAllister? Your boss seems to be a good guy. You ever sleep with him?

LUNA:
Oh Hex me, no! That’d be weird. Mac is like my big brother…he’s compassionate and smart and, um, wayyyyy too old for me.

JEZ:
That makes him what, thirty? Bless me, what is it with mortals and their age fixation?

LUNA:
I know you don’t have my standards, Jez, but really…it’s strictly professional with us.

JEZ:
Well then, let’s get unprofessional. What’s your romantic fantasy? Don’t worry, it’s just us girls. You can be as graphic as you want. In fact, I insist.

LUNA:
Me, Dmitri, some music on the stereo and a soft bed that we never actually make it to. [WINKS]

JEZ:
Heh. What’s better: sex or chocolate?

LUNA:
Chocolate. You don’t have to share.

JEZ:
[CHUCKLES] True.

MEL:
MELTS IN YOUR MOUTH, NOT IN YOUR HANDS.

JEZ:
Which could go for more than just chocolate. Tell me about Ghosttown. Real ghosts there, or is that just hype?

LUNA:
Oh, there are a lot of scary [BLEEP] in Ghosttown, but ghosts aren’t real, Jez.

JEZ:
Of course not.

LUNA:
Once you’re dead, you’re dead. Except in a very few specialized cases.

JEZ:
Uh huh.

LUNA:
If you have the misfortune to end up in Ghosttown, be worried about the things that are still alive, and probably hungry for your flesh.

JEZ:
Ooh, sounds like a challenge. Speaking of scary beasties…Demons: good, evil, or something else? And no, I won’t take your answer personally.

LUNA:
[PAUSES] A year ago, I would have said “Pure evil,” and probably flailed around a little bit.

JEZ:
And now?

LUNA:
I’ve met a few, and I’m not so sure. After all, the originally etymology of “demon” was a being who could be either good or evil, and I tend to think it’s a case by case thing, nowadays. Although they have a habit of popping up when you least want them. Or when you’re in the shower.

JEZ:
Heh. We’re creatures of timing. You know, before NIGHT LIFE, I thought that “Hex” was a canceled BBC television show.

LUNA:
As far as I know, the Hex Riots happened in 1969 and brought weres and witches into the foreground of plain human events.

JEZ:
Yikes. Humans don’t tend to react well to the supernatural in their midst.

LUNA:
[NODS] We’re still picking up the pieces from that one thirty-odd years later.

JEZ:
What’s some of the more colorful uses of the word “hex”?

LUNA:
Let’s see…”Hex you,” that’s my favorite. And of course “Hex me,” “Go Hex yourself,” “Get the Hex out of here” and “You’ve got to be Hexing me.”

JEZ:
What, no “Hex marks the spot”?

MEL:
[GROANS LOUDLY, MIMES SLITTING HER OWN THROAT]

JEZ:
Everyone’s a critic. Say, speaking of marking spots, what’s the deal with your Dear Creator and tattoos? You’ve got one on your back. And one of her other creations, Jack Winter in the My Big Fat Supernatural Honeymoon antho, has tats the way a heroin addict has track marks. [TAPS CHIN] Come to think of it, he has those too. Ooh. Can you tell your Creator that I’m creaming my panties to talk to Jack?

LUNA:
Jack? I’m not familiar…he must live in a different canon from me.

JEZ:
[SNORTS LAUGHTER]

LUNA:
My Dear Creator has more universes in her head than an episode of Sliders, I tell you.

JEZ:
So what’s up with your tat? Fashion statement?

LUNA:
My tattoo is purely functional. It has silver and herbs in the ink that hold back my phase. I put it on my back so it would be easy to hide. I’m not really into that whole tattooed biker girl thing…

MEL:
TO EACH THEIR OWN.

JEZ:
Exactly. In NIGHT LIFE, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Caitlin, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Dear Creator in sync the entire time?

LUNA:
My creator and I have an understanding. She doesn’t make me do stupid [BLEEP] like run down blind alleys in lingerie, and I won’t kick up a fuss when she does things like get me kidnapped or lured into the lair of a demonic serial killer.

JEZ:
Hah!

LUNA:
In a weird way, I think she gets me into so many bad situations because she has confidence in me. She knows I can handle it, and I try my best. Although I could do with more shoe shopping and less dead bodies, most days.

JEZ:
If you had your way, what would you change about NIGHT LIFE? More shoe shopping?

LUNA:
Well, I get beat up a lot. I’d change that—even with fast healing, black eyes are sooo not a lot I’m into. I left that whole Goth thing behind in high school.

JEZ:
If NIGHT LIFE went the way of Hollywood, who do you see cast in the main roles?

LUNA:
Oh, geez. For Dmitri, it’d have to be that studliest of all Australians, Hugh Jackman.

JEZ:
An excellent choice.

LUNA:
He’s very tall, like Dmitri, and they have the same snarl. Hair is wrong, though.

JEZ:
They can fix that.

LUNA:
I’d like to see someone who could kick a bit of ass playing me. Maybe Kate Beckinsale, although she’d have to get some muscles. I don’t look like I’m headed for anorexia rehab, that’s for sure.

MEL:
THIN IS IN?

JEZ:
Mel, there’s thin, and then there’s “Would someone please feed this girl” thin.

LUNA:
For Sunny, totally Maggie Gyllenhaal. That girl’s got a cute smile, but you can see the mischief in her eyes.

JEZ:
Absolutely.

LUNA:
And Mac would want to be played by Dennis Quaid or someone suave, but really he’s more like Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

JEZ:
Finally, if you could be evil for one day, without worrying about the state of your immortal soul, what would you use your infernal powers for?

LUNA:
I would probably use my powers to prevent Journey from ever being played on the radio again.

MEL:
[GASPS] DON’T STOP BELIEVIN’!

JEZ:
Don’t mind Melpomene. She’s been sort of crushing on Steve Perry for a couple decades. So what would you do once you worked your evil wiles on the airwaves?

LUNA:
I’d get a huge closet and fill it with fabulous vintage without melting my credit cards, and teleport a few evil ex-boyfriends to an alternate dimension. One with snakes. And cattle prods.

JEZ:
Hee. You know, I know some demons who’d be happy to make those fantasies come true, for only a teensy price… Stick around after the show, we’ll hit the bars, ogle the men, and talk shoes.

Avid Fans, give another round of applause for the star of Caitlin Kittredge’s NIGHT LIFE, Luna Wilder!

[No, this isn't Luna. But this is her Dear Creator, Caitlin Kittredge.]

[APPLAUSE]

Today’s release day for NIGHT LIFE, which you can purchase at Amazon, B&N, BookSense, and other fine bookstores near you.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse. Until next time, remember: love your inner demon!