JEZEBEL:
Heya, Avid Fans! Welcome to Cat and Muse, the only Internet talk-radio show run by and about fictional characters. I’m your host, the former demon Jezebel, coming at you live from the sordid depths of Jackie Kessler’s website. With me, as always, is the producer of Cat and Muse—the talented, tragic cliché-speaking and pop-culture-referencing babe of bemoaning…Muse of Tragedy, Melpomene!

[APPLAUSE]

Hi, Mel!

MELPOMENE:
YO.

JEZ:
Love the Batman shirt. Is that Adam West?

MEL:
POW!

JEZ:
Heh. Careful, or I’ll start humming the theme music from the television show. More addictive than the Jaws theme.

MEL:
HOLY UNDERWEAR, BATMAN!

JEZ:
I’m glad you’re in a superhero sort of place, because today’s guest came all the way from the city of Bigtime, NY, to talk superhero shop. Entertainment Weekly calls the Bigtime series “snappy and diverting,” and Romantic Times says that JINX “is packed with action, humor, romance, a touch of sorrow and just plain fun.” Boys and girls, say hello to the star of JINX, the third book in Jennifer Estep’s terrific Bigtime series…Bella Bulluci!

[APPLAUSE]

Heya, Bella!

BELLA:
Hi, there! Thanks so much for having me on the show.

JEZ:
Before we start, I have to say this: you look amazing. Love the tailored black suit. The crisp, white shirt really pops. Very classy. What wouldn’t you be caught dead in?

BELLA:
Anything you’d find on your typical Vegas showgirl. Sequins, rhinestones, leopard print, feather boas. [SHUDDERS]

JEZ:
[GRINS] Basically, my working clothes.

BELLA:
Classy, not trashy. That’s my motto.

JEZ:
And a good one it is, too. I’ve heard lots about the Bigtime books. Sex, lies and superheroes. Yum!

BELLA:
[LAUGHS] What could be cooler than all that?

JEZ:
I had powers for a long, long time, but bless me, I wasn’t a superhero. If anything, I would have played for the other team.

MEL:
SWING BATTER BATTER, SWING BATTER.

JEZ:
No, not like a switch hitter. I mean, I would have been an ubervillain. Besides, they get all the good lines. I’m guessing being a superhero isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

BELLA:
[NODS] My luck superpower goes haywire more often than not.

JEZ:
Ooh. ‘Splain, please.

BELLA:
I can crack diamonds just by looking at them, which puts a serious damper on jewelry shopping.

JEZ:
You poor girl. [PATS BELLA’S HAND]

BELLA:
And I’ve been almost brained in the head by falling air conditioners, anvils, and chandeliers more times than I care to count.

JEZ:
Worse than Wile E. Coyote?

BELLA:
Seriously. He looks graceful compared to me.

JEZ:
Ouch.

BELLA:
Then there’s the fact I get kidnapped by a sexy art thief and taken to his, ahem, Lair of Seduction.

JEZ:
Details!

BELLA:
[COUGHS] And have I mentioned the ubervillains yet?

JEZ:
Heh. I see you’re playing the “Read the Book” card. Well done, sweetie. Okay, I’ll bite. Tell me about the baddies.

BELLA:
Two ubervillains, Hangman and Prism, want me dead, so a mad bomber gives me an explosive charm bracelet to wear to fight them off.

JEZ:
Villains, kidnappings, shattering diamonds, mad bombers. Talk about your bad luck. What’s the worst thing that happens to you?

BELLA:
My hair. Definitely my hair.

JEZ:
Really?

BELLA:
You see, like so many folks in Bigtime, NY, I’m cursed with a superpower: luck. Which we all know can be either good or bad.

JEZ:
Uh huh…

BELLA:
Basically, my power makes me feel like I’m standing inside the world’s biggest ball of static electricity—which raises my hair to sky-high heights.

JEZ:
[BURSTS OUT LAUGHING]

MEL:
GIMME DOWN TO THERE, HAIR, SHOULDER LENGTH OR LONGER…

BELLA:
I haven’t met a conditioner yet that can tame my frizzy locks for more than a few minutes. And I’ve tried them all. At once. [SIGHS].

JEZ:
Poor sweetie. Let’s talk about something happier. Tell us about the love of your life, Debonair.

BELLA:
[SIGHS DREAMILY] He’s smart, suave, funny, sweet, and just a tad shy. And the way that man fills out his leather superhero suit … yummy!

JEZ:
Ooh!

BELLA:
[GRINS] It’s practically criminal how good he looks in it.

JEZ:
Okay, spill. You and Debonair. Who’s on top? Or are there other preferred positions?

BELLA:
Well, in Bigtime, just about everybody has a superpower of some sort. Debonair’s happens to be teleportation, or moving people and objects through space. So, he can–and does–pop! us into any position we want, whenever we want…if you know what I mean.

JEZ:
[FANS SELF] Oh, bless me, the possibilities are endless! What’s your romantic fantasy? Don’t worry. It’s just us girls. You can be as graphic as you want. In fact, I insist.

BELLA:
I’m a simple girl at heart. I like a nice guy who treats me to a nice night out – a romantic comedy movie and a wonderful, carb-heavy dinner at Quicke’s. Pasta, potatoes, wine, chocolate cake.

JEZ:
Okay…

BELLA:
[SMILES] We take a slow walk through the moonlight down by the marina and Bigtime Bay, then sit on a bench a while and just watch the waves crash into the pier.

JEZ:
Uh huh…

BELLA:
Then we go back to my place and do things that make my toes curl–and my hair reaches new, gravity-defying heights.

JEZ:
Bingo! [LAUGHS] Which is better: sex or chocolate?

BELLA:
Sex that involves chocolate whipped cream. The best of both worlds.

JEZ:
Now we’re talking! So, in JINX, were there any parts of the story where you were like, Jennifer, sweetie, what the Hell are you making me do? Or were you and your Creator in sync the entire time?

BELLA:
[ROLLS EYES] Don’t even get me started on Jennifer! She knows how much I hate superheroes and ubervillains and the whole hero lifestyle, and what does she do? Makes me the star of her book, where I not only fall in love with a sexy superhero but also have to dodge ubervillains right and left. [SIGHS]

JEZ:
Yeah, I hear you on Creators not listening to us. [GLARES AT COMPUTER SCREEN] If you had your way, what would you change about JINX?

BELLA:
My hair. Definitely my hair.

JEZ:
Heh.

BELLA:
Why did Jennifer have to make it so big? I also wish she’d let me wise up a little sooner, instead of almost waiting until it’s too late to tell Debonair that I love him.

JEZ:
Let’s say the shoe’s on the other foot: if you could make Jennifer do anything, what would it be?

BELLA:
Wear a nice, fitted suit and low-heeled pumps for a change, instead of those grubby T-shirts, jeans, and sneakers she schleps around in. The girl really needs a fashion makeover. She needs to do something with her hair, too. It looks almost as frizzy and big as mine does.

JEZ:
Hee. If JINX goes Hollywood, who should play you in the movie?

BELLA:
Hmm. This is a toughie. I think Ashley Judd is lovely, and her hair is just exquisite.

JEZ:
What about Debonair?

BELLA:
I’d say Pierce Brosnan. He has the most beautiful blue eyes, although they still pale in comparison to Debonair’s. [SIGHS DREAMILY]

JEZ:
Heh. Someone’s got it baaaad…

MEL:
AIN’T LOVE GRAND?

JEZ:
Finally, if you could be evil for one day, how would you use your power for evil?

BELLA:
If I could, I’d transfer my power to others. Specifically, mean people. And let them have a run of bad luck.

JEZ:
Hah! Love it!

BELLA:
Maybe if they got brained by a couple of falling anvils they’d wise up and change their evil ways. Wha-ha-ha!

JEZ:
Bwa-ha-ha back atcha!

Avid Fans, once again, give a round of applause to the star of Jennifer Estep’s latest Bigtime novel, JINX…Bella Bulluci!

[APPLAUSE]

[No, this isn’t Bella. But it is her alter ego, the super Jennifer Estep.]

You can get the first two Bigtime books, KARMA GIRL and HOT MAMA, in mass market now. JINX, also in mass market, is available for pre-order at Mysterious Galaxy, other terrific independent bookstores, Barnes and Noble, Amazon, and other fine stores near you. JINX hits the shelves on September 2, 2008.

That’s it for this episode of Cat and Muse! Until next time, remember: love your inner demon.